His eyes sparkled, entire face smiled and he was radiating satisfaction from head to toe in ways I hadn’t seen before. He was in the driver’s seat. He was in charge. It was his first “Yes Day!” … and giving him this gift made me feel absolutely incredible.
So, what’s a “Yes Day!”?
It’s a day where parents say yes to requests from their children.
A few months back, I saw this concept posted on my mentor Kelly Roach’s social media page that she had a “Yes Day!” with her daughter and it sounded beautiful!
As I decided to write this article, I just found out it was a concept popularized by a movie starring Jennifer Garner.
How my son’s “Yes Day!” Played out
He woke up just before 8am, came to me in the living room and said “mama, today is my ‘Yes Day!’” Then he asked for cuddles on the sofa an my heart was melting.
His next request was to play chess. He didn’t ask me to let him win, so I found an opportunity to win and he was cool with it. Whew!
He had an avocado toast breakfast of champions, with the most important ingredient, Mayonaise, then we got dressed and headed out to the zoo.
Before arriving, he wanted an ice cream, so that happened around 10am.
At the zoo, we purchased a season’s pass, got two buckets of treats to feed the animals and he took sooooo many pictures of every animal he saw. He loved it and told me all about the animals.
In the gift shop, he asked for a stuffy and ended up purchasing seven!!!
He took them all to the car and cuddled them all the way home.
It was time to eat lunch an snacks in front of the TV surrounded by his stuffies and spend the afternoon watching…. Ninjago (a show we never let him watch).
Way too many episodes later as the sun began to go down, it was time to head to the beach to jump on rocks and go for a walk.
He asked me to carry him home, so I agreed… until… he called me a “poo-poo face” and refused to apologize. I had to draw the line and would not pick him up again without a proper apology…. He was not impressed I wouldn’t pick him up so he cried and shouted at me all the way home for the neighbors to hear… and hear they did! It was not a pretty site.
After a good hissy fit, he came to his senses, asked for a book and some cuddles and we went to bed.
Despite the rocky ending, I’d definitely do it again. However, next time I’d set out a few more rules in advance.
The rules we had and rules I should have considered
This time, my rule was to say yes to requests that are legal, moral, ethical and safe. He respected these rules and kept reminding me of the safety piece by running different scenarios: “you won’t say yes if I climb a tree that’s too high and not strong enough to hold me up…”
I’d definitely keep these rules and other rules I’d consider adding in the future include:
- Vegetables and healthy foods must be eaten before sugar and candy
- Basic manners must still be followed. Please, thank you, apologizing and owning mistakes, etc.
- Consider a spending limit per place or perhaps for the entire day. It wasn’t astronomical, however, it could have been.
- Perhaps keeping it to a specific geographic location. My husband said “thank goodness he didn’t ask to go on a plane to see grandma Saturday evening…”
- Not saying yes to screen time, so other activities are encouraged
- Saying yes to things that will happen now/that day, not in the future
Also, I’d consider asking your child if there are any other rules they would like to add. They might surprise you.
Overall, it was a great day!
I wasn’t sure what he was going to ask for and knew it could have been full of surprises. Yet, my son kept it simple and did things that totally satisfied him. Being in charge was a huge confidence boost and empowering opportunity for him.
If you’re considering a yes day for your kids, I highly recommend it. Have a conversation with them, let them know what to expect and what the ground rules are and let yourself have fun and your kids sure will too.
When you do hold your “Yes Day!” I’d love to know how it goes.
There was a profound moment I remember so clearly from a year ago, on February 3, 2022. I was at the cottage, and while meditating, had an overwhelming flood of emotions and deep spiritual connection with one of my mentors, Bob Proctor.
He was one of the world’s most influential forces in the area of possibility thinking, prosperity and personal growth.
I gave gratitude for this moment and proceeded to turn on my computer to check my emails when I saw a message that Bob Proctor had passed away.
While his body left this physical world, Bob Proctor’s lessons, legacy and spirit continue to live on.
Here are a few of the greatest lessons I learned from being a student of his and spending time in his world.
Study Every Day
Bob dropped out of the traditional school system at an early age and took on a series of jobs he never thrived at. When he was 26, he was given a book, Think and Grow Rich, by one of his mentors and since that day, read it every day.
While he continued to expand his wealth of knowledge, this was one body of work he kept coming back to over the years and was considered an authority on the subject.
Whenever people would ask for his advice, he’d say “You’ve got to study. Study every day.” He taught me not only to study to fill my knowledge base, but to also study myself and really get to know who I am, how I operate and what my deepest desires are.
Deep down, for many years, I’d always wanted to take the time to study, learn and grow every day and when Bob set it as a standard, it gave me permission to do the same. Bob would often quote Vernon Howard and say “you can’t escape a prison if you don’t know you’re in one.” When you study every day and combine that with a sense of purpose and create a sense of faith based on understanding, miracles are possible for you.
Studying for me has truly been transformational in how I now look at myself, see the world, the people in it and opportunities all around.
Action is Required
While studying is nice, action is where the learning really begins. Bob would say “if you want to have something, you first must DO something.” He’d consistently remind me of the knowing doing gap and how I already know what I need to do, I just need to actually do it, do more of it and do it even better.
You’ve Got To Have A Goal
When Bob talked about goals, he talked about big, juicy goals. Deep dreams and desires that stretch you way beyond your comfort zone. While achieving the goals may be nice, these goals are really about who you become along the way. They get you to stop playing small and realize that anything really is possible and it is possible for you!
Bob was the ultimate giver of time, money and energy. He was wealthy because he gave. He lived in the spirit and frequency of generosity and was rewarded with a rich and fulfilling life.
A powerful practice he learned from his mother when he was young. Growing up in WWII days, scarcity was prevalent in all aspects of life and while his mother didn’t have much, there was a family that lived down the street didn’t have coal to heat their house. When Bob mentioned this to her, she gave him a $20 bill and asked Bob to go buy $10 of coal (a lot of money at the time and half of what his mother had) and give it to the family. She didn’t even now them.
Yesterday, I met with a mentor who also worked with and studied with Bob. He mentioned to me that Bob always sat at the front of the plane and back of the car. One time while they were travelling together, Bob overheard another passenger mention that he’d forgotten his cufflinks and he sounded distressed. Bob asked the passenger what seat he was in and he told him. Once they were airborne, Bob went up into his carry on baggage and pulled out his box of cufflinks. He went over to give the passenger a pair of cufflinks. When he came back, he was beaming, because not only had he given him a pair of cufflinks, he’d given the passenger his best cufflinks. What a beautiful example of spontaneous generosity that he always encouraged his students to do!
Make People Feel Special
One message Bob continually demonstrated is the ability to make people feel seen, special and important. He’d learn their names, give them genuine compliments, be interested in them and say thank you for the service they provided. Leaving people with the impression of increase is key!
Bob’s Son Brian often shares a story when he was in fourth grade and about to go to a new school. He was not confident and Bob suggested he see everyone with a MMFI (make me feel important) on their forehead. That was a philosophy Brian carried forward throughout his life and allowed him to make friends and connections easily after that moment.
Money is a Mirror and Magnifier
People universally desire to be happy, healthy and wealthy. While happy and healthy are important, money is the only one of the three that can actually be measured to the penny.
Bob would always say that if you don’t like your results in life, you’ve got to make some changes to yourself, your life and your belief system. Because the results you get in any area are a direct reflection of your mental programming.
He was never shy to ask people the most amount of money they earned, because it demonstrated where their belief system and financial thermostat was set. He reminded us that money is a magnifier and will simply make you more of who you are and will come to you when you are in alignment with it. Many people are afraid of money because they don’t want to be perceived as greedy, selfish or uncaring. Others crave it and are bitter they don’t have it. These are the best opportunities to look within and change your paradigm.
At one time, Bob was earning a lot of money and spending it foolishly. When he realized this, he began to change how he showed up in life and shifted the money he was earning to do good. He felt better and others thrived as a result.
Work With The Law
The laws of the universe are unseen forces that most people don’t understand or even know are there. Bob not only understood the law, he worked with it, lived it and shared it with everyone he came across. When you work with the law, it opens up the world of what’s possible for you so you can make better choices, have the confidence to go for bigger goals and have the faith to move forward in spite of insurmountable obstacles because you’re ultimately a spiritual being having a human, physical experience at your core.
Go For What You Really Want, Don’t Hold Back And Challenge Conventional Thinking
Bob believed there is greatness in all of us. He truly believed that you’re capable of doing anything! He’d never let you settle or say “I can’t.” Bob would be the first one to cheerlead you on to go for your dream NOW. Why wait?
He taught his students to think FROM possibility and beyond the boundaries of common thinking.
When Mary Morrisey was going to purchase her dream home, she was applying for a mortgage and Bob challenged her. He asked why she was applying for a mortgage and why she didn’t simply go out and earn the money to buy the house. Her spine straightened up when she realized she hadn’t even considered that possibility.
One of the greatest challenges Bob was most widely known for was challenging you to you’re your annual income into their monthly income. So often, you settle for less than you’re capable of or create goals that you feel obligated to have and leave yourself behind. This is no way to live.
You’ve got to go for what you want and follow your passions and dreams. It’s the most fulfilling way to live. Find your purpose and live it, because it’s something people will benefit from long after you’re gone.
Selling is Helping
Bob had a natural gift as a sales man and when he spoke, people wanted to be in his presence. He knew the information he had to share was special and would transform their life, because he’d seen it done time and time again in his more than 60-years in the personal growth and development industry.
He would consistently remind me that if I didn’t give someone the opportunity to work with me, I was robbing them of a potential massive and radical transformation. At first this felt uncomfortable. And quickly, I realized he was right. People are stuck, just like I was. And I am blessed for all the opportunities I’ve been helped in the past.
Death Can Be Something To Look Forward To
In the years leading up to his physical departure here on earth, Bob was often asked about his perspective on dying and he had a beautiful attitude toward it. While he knew one day his physical body would pass, his spirit would continue to live on. He didn’t know what was in store for him, and he was looking forward to finding out. He began to adopt this perspective after studying Robert Russel’s “Dry Those Tears,” a wonderful perspective on the meaning of life and life after death.
Bob prided himself on doing work he loved till the day he died and he absolutely did. He gave people hope. He helped people see the good in themselves that he saw in them. He lived his mission. He made the moments count. And for that I am thankful. As many others are across the globe.
If we could all have an attitude and presence like Mr. Bob Proctor, the world would truly be an even more magical place than it is.
I hope these lessons have inspired you to pay a little more attention to yourself and allow yourself to step into your truth and challenge yourself beyond what you ever thought possible. I know I’m certainly a different person because of him and I’m someone who truly loves and knows myself in ways I couldn’t have imagined before working with Bob. While his physical body has departed, I continue to study with him every day and allow his lessons to guide me as well as the beautiful students at the Abundance Academy.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Bob.
Would you like to learn more about Bob Proctor’s teachings?
“I am” statements are some of the most powerful words on the planet because they embody your identity and can dictate your personal reality in an extremely powerful way.
Most people look at their current identity statements, listen to what they’re currently saying about themselves and simply attempt to create new identity statements that are the opposite. They are told to repeat them in hopes they’ll eventually become that person.
While there’s a time and place for this, people often report feeling like a “liar” because the new “I am” statement isn’t aligned with them yet.
Why Time Line Therapy “I am” statements are so powerful
What’s different with the identity statements you receive after your personal Time Line Therapy Session is that they have come directly from you and your unconscious mind.
These are leanings you’ve had about yourself that you had previously brushed away from your conscious awareness and through the Time Line Therapy session, they have resurfaced.
One of the prime directives your unconscious mind has is that it represses memories that are not ready to be resolved. By obtaining your learnings, you can resolve the negative emotions or limiting decisions you have made surrounding that memory along with any other events with those same emotions or limiting decisions.
At Abundance Academy, we send you your personal learnings after your session so you can continue reminding yourself of your magnificence long after our session.
What do you do with your “I am” statements?
When you receive your personalized “I am” statements, what exactly can you do with them?
There’s no one size fits all formula. However, here are a few really great menu options to choose from. Read below.
Option 1: Print them and put them somewhere you can see
Put them in picture frames, laminate them or simply pin them up on your walls where you glance at and reference often. Read them once a day or periodically as you pass by.
Option 2: Read them out loud
Read them out loud and really listen to yourself as you read them. Notice the positive emotions that come up as you do read them and memorize the good feelings. Acknowledge how they are showing up in your current life and celebrate that too, either with a smile, in your gratitude journal or success journal.
Option 3: Say them to yourself while looking into the mirror
Eyes are the windows to the soul. When you look yourself deeply in the eye and remind yourself of these wonderful learnings, they will penetrate even deeper.
Option 4: Record them and listen on loop
There are two apps I love (perhaps more out by the time you’re reading this), Voice Loop and Think Up. They’re apps where you record yourself saying something on your phone and it’ll actually create a track that will keep looping over and over and over again. You can literally record your affirmations and listen to them for hours as you run errands, do housework or even as you work at your desk.
What I love about Voice Loop is that you can merge multiple tracks at once. It may sound a bit crazy to hear 2 or more tracks speaking at once, however, your unconscious mind picks them all up. It’s what is referred to as a multiple induction in hypnotherapy. When you listen to something like this in a relaxed state, it can be extremely soothing.
What I love about Think Up is that you can add pretty music to the background of your tracks and also custom photos.
Both are good. I use both for different reasons.
Option 5: Look at your list and dive deeper
Take a look at the “I am” statements and jot down a few that are standing out to you at this time. I’d suggest at least one up to a maximum of 7. It could vary day by day.
Of these, think about how you’ve expressed this quality in your life or how you’d like to express it in the future. You can look up the definitions or do a google search for ideas about what that quality is and how it can possibly be expressed further. You can use it as a theme for your day or week or even have a discussion about it with a friend. The possibilities are endless. Dive deeper and have fun exploring. Let intuition guide you.
Option 6: Create something artistic
You can use some of all of the words to create an artistic project. Use the words directly or simply as energetic inspiration for something creative: a painting, drawing, vision board, sculpture, or anything you can come up with that’s meaningful to you. The unconscious mind loves colors and symbols, so make sure to keep this in mind when in creation mode.
Do you have to do them all?
You can. And you don’t have to. More isn’t necessarily better. What’s key is that you’re intentional about what you’re doing and do what resonates with and is meaningful to you. Let your intuition be your guide.
Interested in the Time Line Therapy process to get your own personal affirmations? Book a complimentary consultation today and we’ll set you up!
Do you do affirmations? If so, when’s the last time you sat down and asked yourself if they’re actually working for you?
What I’ve seen over the years looks something like this….
There you are, reciting your affirmations with as much enthusiasm as possible. Only 3 more to go before you can check this off your daily success habits list and move onto the next peak performance strategy you’ve got.
You’ve done these affirmations for what seems to be an eternity and keep doing them because you’re “supposed to” yet they don’t seem to be working and every time you recite them in the back of your mind you’re reminding yourself what a “liar” you are.
Trust me, you’re not alone. This is a common problem. And clearly, you’re doing these affirmations because you want to get ahead in life.
So just why aren’t these affirmations working and what can you do about it so you stop wasting your precious time?
Let’s start here.
What’s an affirmation?
An affirmation is the action or process of stating something as a fact. They’re words or phrases that evoke a positive state of mind or something one desires, like “I am powerful”, “I am beautiful”, “I am healthy and strong”, “Money flows to me easily and effortlessly”.
They are closely related to mantras which are rooted in Buddhism and Sanskrit. Affirmations have been a fundamental component of many personal growth and development programs since the explosion of personal growth and development. In Napoleon Hill’s Think and Frow Rich, he devotes an entire chapter to autosuggestion, implying that if you repeat something often enough, eventually you’ll believe it. As scientific research evolved and developed, the impact of positive affirmations has been proven to help people achieve success, reduce negative behaviors and increase positive ones.
These days, many successful entrepreneurs, leaders in business, writers and celebrities like Anthony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Jim Carey, Denzel Washington, Lady Gaga, and Selena Gomez use affirmations as part of their mindset and success formula.
If your affirmations are working for you, amazing. Keep doing what you’re doing. There’s no need to read the rest of this article. However, if they’re not, you may be wondering….
If science proves that affirmations work, why aren’t they working for ME?
Let’s address the elephant in the room. You’ve been following all the rules. You’ve carefully selected your affirmations, you repeat them daily, perhaps even several times a day and you aren’t seeing improvement. Why is that?
Here are a few typical reasons your affirmations won’t work for you. You may be encountering one or many of them.
1.Your affirmations don’t align with you, your truth or desires.
Affirmations must be personalized for you. If you think you can Google the top 50 affirmations and pick them off a random list, good luck!
Affirmations are repeated over and over again, so if you don’t choose the right affirmations, you’ll be reinforcing something misaligned, wasting your precious time on something unnecessary or feeling like a liar as you say them.
There are many ways to create powerful affirmations that work. My favourite are through Time Line Therapy (we do this process in the Ultimate Breakthrough), Praxis Statements and Decision
2.Your affirmations are too big of a jump.
If you’re just getting started in business, haven’t earned a single dollar yet and are saying “I’m a billionaire business boss” when you have no context or neurology for what that even is, you’ll get backlash because your unconscious mind is doing its best to protect you from a perceived danger and in this case, failure.
I help clients create Progressive Affirmations in our Abundance Accelerator Program to ensure they’re truthful and headed in the right direction.
3.You’re on autopilot and simply going through the motions.
It’s easy to rush through them to check them off your list in attempt to get that dopamine hit and say you’ve completed your mindset routine. If you don’t actually have any positive feelings or connections to them. There’s no meaning or depth as you do it.
Set yourself up for success and make sure you do them at a time and in a place where you can get emotionally involved so you can actually feel it.
4.You say them once and expect them to manifest.
Tony Robbins say that “repetition is the mother of skill” and he’s right. There are two way to change a belief: massive emotional impact and constant paced repetition. It’s just like a baby learning to walk. They don’t just get up and get going the first time around. They keep practicing even when they fall and get back up with enthusiasm over and over again. This I not one-and-done, you must keep coming back to the affirmation until it becomes a part of you.
Be patient with yourself
Affirmations are a wonderful tool that can fuel you forward or pull you back. When you take the time to create and repeat the right affirmations for you with enthusiasm and do it consistently, you’ll need a telescope to see how far you’ll go in a short period of time.
Realize this is a work in progress. Sometimes you can get it on your own and sometimes you need help.
If you’d like to learn how you can develop the skill to master your affirmations and get them working for you, book a complimentary Strategy Session.
Let’s face it, some days don’t go according to plan and the stress, anxiety and frustration build. Yet, no matter how much you tell yourself you are being “positive”, you know you’re just faking it and everyone else sees you are too (whether they admit it to you is a different story).
Here’s the thing, when you’re in a negative state, you may not be able to jump from a negative mental mindset to a pristine positive one. It’s not natural and too big of a jump for most humans on the planet.
My suggestion is to get yourself to neutral and then see if you want to continue going up from there. You may, you may not. Either way, the choice is yours and remember it’s your choice.
So next time you are in a funk, check out my Top 5 Mindset Reset Tools that I share with my clients and use myself to reset my mood and elevate my emotions. Best of all, each of them takes 5 minutes or less!
1. Grounding breath with peripheral vision
Stand tall with your feet flat on the floor. Keep your head and chin level and look up with just your eyes. Breathe slowly in through the nose and strongly out through the mouth taking 7 counts or more per inhale and exhale. Do as many breaths as you need to feel calmer and more relaxed in your body. You will have your own physical sensation for this, notice it. Once you’ve entered a state of calm, keep your eyes looking up and gradually allow your gaze to expand out to your sides as far as possible, then imagine that gaze continuing around and connecting behind your body. Lower your eyes and continue with your day.
This exercise will get you into your parasympathetic nervous system and out of your negative emotions. Do it as many times as necessary throughout your day.
2. Do something (anything) fun, physical or that gets you to laugh
When your body moves, your energy grooves. When you or your energy is stagnant, it’s easy to get down. When you’re off, change what you’re doing, perhaps go load or unload the dishwasher or go do the laundry, head out for a walk around the block, do some random burpees, pushups, squats or jumping jacks, turn on some fun tunes and dance around or sing out loud, find some silly YouTube or social media videos (Celeste Barber is certainly my go-to on Instagram). Let your intuition guide you as to what you need at this time.
This will allow you to fill a need you meet a need you have and be able to reset yourself to move on with your day.
3. Rewrite your reality
When you’re off, sometimes you may want to complain and let it all out. This is your chance. Grab a piece of paper and write a few sentences that express how you’re feeling. Say the exact words you’re thinking in your head (you’re not writing a piece of literature) and don’t hold back. When you’ve emptied out, identify how that makes you feel.
Then, take out a fresh sheet of paper or your journal and answer this question “in a universe where anything is possible, what would I want and how would that make me feel?” Write that out and hold those thoughts in your mind for a few seconds. Allow yourself to feel the good feelings and just sit with this moment.
Throw our or tear up the negative story. Energetically let it go. Reread the good story and step into the good feelings once again and fully embrace them.
Do this exercise as many times as necessary throughout your day, or reread the positive story to lift your spirits as your day goes on.
4. What do I want now?
If you’re off, you have some immediate needs that need to be met. It’s important you acknowledge what they are.
Ask yourself, “what do I want now?” then answer with a word or simple phrase for each of the following aspects of yourself: your physical body, vital body, mental body, emotional body, spiritual body
You may find that simply emptying out allows you to feel better and more complete. Sometimes you may need to take a small action towards one of these immediate needs and the rest will organically take care of themselves.
Do this a few times a day and notice how your needs shift throughout your day.
Neville Goddard says that “gratitude brings your whole mind will come into closer harmony with the creative energies of the universe” and he’s right.
When you allow yourself to be grateful for the things you have in your life, it will stop stagnation and connect you to a source of infinite supply of anything you need, wish and desire, including a better day.
A grateful mind continually expects good things and expectation becomes faith. There is a natural and organic flow.
There are so many ways to give gratitude, say thank you, write a few things you’re grateful for, complete a full gratitude practice.
I’ve created a Gratitude Guide with some amazing gratitude practices to get you started or enhance your current practice. You’re welcome to access it here if you’d like some guidance.
Leave a Reply